Normalize Me

Good Morning gym rats and happy Sunday Funday! It's been a week since the Spirit of America bodybuilding competition and I've spent these past 7 days trying to get myself back on a more normal daily routine. This includes reducing my cardio and getting back into the gym for some really great focused and adequately fueled lifts, re-introducing dairy and many of my other favourite clean foods into my diet (steak, whole eggs, high-carb fruits, nuts, etc), and trying to return to a less stressed-out mindset day-to-day. There are of course the usual post-show dealings with fucktards who welcome you back to their assumption of normal life which includes not going to the gym (you must be sick of it right?!), eating greasy sugar-laden foods, and binge drinking your weekends away, but I try my best to avoid these people and ignore the somewhat fucktard comments from people who should really know better by now. Yes, fucktard is my new favourite word.

I gave myself the week off from diet tracking so I could just eat what I wanted without the added stress of staying within a calorie or macro goal which I think helped a lot. I generally eat the same things anyway so it's not like I went all-out food crazy but I did have a few extra "treats" here and there which I think was completely necessary in order to hit the mental re-set button after my 14 long weeks of cutting. This morning I weighed-in for the first time since before the show and I was up about 4 lbs. I honestly don't even care though as I am feeling so much better both mentally and physically. Plus, a little extra fat around my muscles makes them look so much bigger LOL! Okay, so my abs aren't as defined anymore but I'm still pretty tight so if I were to plateau here for a while I'd be okay with that.

Being Sunday Funday, I got to start the day with my favourite yoga class! I also got to the gym extra early so I could get in 30 mins of core work beforehand. Not an intense workout by any means but certainly a great stretch after a week of heavy lifting and a day full of quad flexing on show-day. That brings me to the competition. Not my best showing. I didn't even place and while saying that for the gagillionth time this week (I am so fucking sick of people asking me at this point) does make me feel a little bit like a failure, I can honestly say it was by far the toughest competition I've even been in. I was up against 75 other bikini girls and honestly looking back at pictures, while I did feel very confident going in that I was bringing a great package, I just wasn't competition for most of these girls. In one word, JACKED. I feel like I was background scenery, washed away and unnoticeable amongst many of these stand-out physiques. One one hand, it was nice to feel like I was up against a solid crew of girls who really worked hard for that day as opposed to last year at the same show where I felt exactly the opposite. However, I am also a bit disgruntled as I can confidently say that over the past year the OCB had done a complete shift in what they are looking for in bikini. Basically I feel like you need to come in as big and as lean as you would for figure, but show up in a bikini. Perhaps it's going that way for all divisions (ie maybe the figure ladies are needing to come in with what the OCB wanted last year for bodybuilding) but I really only payed attention to bikini as that's what concerns me. That being said, my only goal right now is to get as big as possible! Easier said that done for this hard-gainer. Bring on the clean calories and heavy HEAVY weights...

I honestly don't even know if I will compete again this year as it all depends on my progress, how I'm feeling, and where my budget and life is at. I am so beyond sick of people asking me when my next show is. I just want to be like; "Are you fucking kidding me? I just spent the past 3.5 months with only one focus in life. Give me a chance to take a fucking breath before you bombard me with your stressful expectations again!" One know-it-all ass-fuck literally high-tailed it over to me the moment after I came off the stage from my T-walk having just found out that I did not place and trying to internalize my feelings amongst the sympathetic on-lookers, asking me what my go-forward plan was and trying to get me to hand-over my diet plan so his genius ass could "fix" it for me. Gee, I'm sorry (you fat obnoxious fucktard) that I haven't spent the past 30 seconds developing my post-show diet and fitness plan for the next 6-12 months and already chosen my next competition date. What the fuck is wrong with people?!!!

I don't regret doing the show by any means though. 1) It was nice to see people I wouldn't normally see and forge new friendships, 2) I got nice and lean in time for bathing suit and mini-skirt weather, and 3) I got a much clearer view of what my physique goal needs to be in order to step on stage again. Plus, I really needed a goal to focus on and get me through a ridiculously long and depressing winter here in Maine!

This week is my last week of my April lifting plan which I have modified slightly post-show. Here's the new breakdown:
Sunday: Yoga & Core
Monday: Shoulders
Tuesday: Legs
Wednesday: Chest & Triceps
Thursday: Cardio
Friday: Back & Biceps
Saturday: Off

Starting the following week I am actually going to be revamping my entire lifting regimin in hopes to really confuse my muscles and shock them into new growth. A friend recently introduced me to a program his trainer developed called the Power / Rep Range / Shock program (P/RR/S). Each week you change the tempo of your lifts from a power range where you employ a fast and powerful tempo of 4/0/X, to a rep range where you utilize isometric contractions in between the eccentric and concentric contractions with a tempo of 2/1/2/1 and finally a shock range where you utilize dropsets and supersets with very little rest in between sets. I am going to do this for at least 6 weeks (so that I run through the program twice) and then reevaluate at that time. I might stick with it just changing some of the lifts or I might go back to my regular lifting regimen depending on my results. Either way, it's always fun to try something new! If you are interested in learning more about this program you can find a great article on it here: http://www.muscleandstrength.com/articles/power-rep-range-shock-time-to-grow-without-plateau.html

Finally, here are a few pics from show-day:

This is the free backstage shot we always get. I don't really care for it to be honest. I hope it's been seriously touched-up because I had some rocking abs going on the day before that seemed to disappear by the time I got on stage despite the rice cakes and almond butter (dry carbs & sugar!) I consumed beforehand.

Butt & back shot! I thought it showed improvement over last year but still nothing compared to what I was up against.

Group shot...and these weren't even the toughest competitors though as they were all lumped together at center stage. That was the other thing; HUGE classes. I think my novice class had 17 girls in it! Not so easy to stand-out in a pack that size. I didn't really care for any of the professionally taken shots but if you are curious what the other competitors looked like you can visit http://www.jjsphotodesign.com/soa2014. I was #31 so once they are all uploaded hopefully later this week there should be a page with just my individual shots as well as the prejudging ones that are already up there. As far as judge feedback goes, I have only heard back from one judge so far who didn't tell me anything I didn't already know. Build more muscle all-around and come in a tad leaner. "Do this and you will place better next time. You are a beautiful girl though, good luck!" Lady, this ain't no beauty competition, I don't need the sugar-coating as a means to lessen the blow...

Okay it's lunch time now so that's all you get. Lots to update you all on today so thanks if you made it this far! Going to go make myself a delicious baby spinach salad with chicken breast, balsamic beets, carrots, cuke, feta, almonds, and Annie's asian sesame dressing. Did I mention I love being able to eat my favorite clean foods again? 

How I Take My Coffee

How do I take my coffee? Seriously. Very, very seriously. I honestly live off the stuff these days. I used to stick to a 2-cup a day maximum but lately thanks to my ongoing carb-cycling plus it being peak week and being calorie deprived all-around, I'm probably up to around 4 cups a day at least. I don't know that it's necessarily unhealthy but my bet is it will take a toll on my body over time so hopefully as I ease back onto a more carb-inclusive diet plan next week my need for PM coffee jolts diminishes! At least with all the Dunkin' Donuts coupons I got in the mail last week and the always 99 cents coffee at Cumberland Farms it hasn't taken a toll on my budget LOL!

I'm sitting here at home (a Cumby's iced by my side) having taken the day off to take care of final errands and prep for the big day on Saturday, reflecting on the past few days. Aside from being exhausted and hungry this has actually been the easiest peak week yet in that I haven't had to cheat on my diet plan and made it through all of my scheduled workouts (thanks to more coffee LOL). I survived the first three days of carb-depletion and am starting to increase them today with a nice load planned for tomorrow night. Bring on the sweet potatoes and bananas! I'm going to go to bed one happy camper tomorrow night! 

This morning I got up early so as to get in one last fake-n-bake, cardio sesh, and posing practice while the gym studio was available. I'm feeling very confident about my posing and walk right now but I started to worry when I was overcome with dizziness while practicing my walk. Maybe it was just a result of the past 3 days of carb-depletion but I'm freaked-out that I'm going to wake up sick just in time for show-day thanks to all the disgusting, unhealthy people who came to work this week. I pounded an Airborne when I got home and other than finalizing my packing and food prep for the weekend have spent the rest of the day resting on the couch. I feel decent now so let's just pray it stays that way! My final weigh-in this morning had me in at 4.5 lbs higher than I was at the Yankee last year and I'm not upset about it because I am pretty sure it's added muscle. Here's a collage I made this morning after taking a few final progress pics:

Lookin' pretty shredded if I do say so :P Tomorrow morning I'll get up, take the pup to the kennel, and head south for my midday tan appointment, show registration, and polygraph appointment before settling-in at my Aunt's house for the evening. I'm so excited to be getting on stage again. I really think that attending the Pine Tree last weekend is partially to thank for such a successful peak week. I am scared about not standing out enough in the massive classes I am anticipating but I know I'll be bringing my best and that's all I can do. As of yesterday there were already 180 competitors signed-up and I'm guessing most of them are bikini. Yikes! There are three classes for both Novice and Open so I'm thinking there's gotta be between 20-30 girls per class. Oh my. Deep breathe LOL! Knowing it will be an incredibly long day I packed myself a bottled Starbucks iced coffee for the afternoon and have plenty of dried fruit, rice cakes, and almond butter to keep my belly carb and caffeine-loaded between prejudging and the night show. I know quite a few girls doing it so it should be nice to catch-up with everyone backstage as well. 

Anyway, I just thought I'd take a minute to knock-out a last-minute pre-stage blog post while I had the time so that's all for now. As excited as I am to hit the stage, I am SOOOO ready to be cardio-free and able to load-up my belly with fresh fruit for a while! It's the simple things that make me happy :) Well, hopefully I'll have some good news to share in my next post. Good luck to all the competitors and here's to a fun weekend ahead! xo

Renewed Motivation

Yesterday I attended the OCB Pine Tree State Bodybuilding Championships in Westbrook, ME. It was my first time at a bodybuilding show where I was not competing. The day was a bit emotional for me and I'm not sure if it was just a typical low-carb reaction or the fact that it marked 1 year since I first stepped foot on stage for what ended up being one of the best days of my life as well as the true start of a new lifestyle for me.  Either way, things felt like they had come full circle. This year's event was very different from last year as the competitor's seemed to have doubled in size. Especially bikini which had to have had well over 50 competitors by my guess. I actually feel bad for some of them because the classes were so large that some girls who I thought looked fantastic were at the end of the line and I honestly didn't even notice them up there. It seems the judges may not have either :/ It's funny though because now that I've competed so many times and know what one should and shouldn't do, I found myself being extremely critical of their every move on stage. I could easily pinpoint the top 3 in each class and I was right each time! The sad part I noticed though was that I felt embarrassed for some of the girls who came out in the debut class (thankfully no one I knew!). It honestly looked like either they never consulted with a posing coach or else they had a coach who told them to go out and act like a slut. No joke, I saw horse-like prancing, flamboyant air-kisses, and "fuck me eyes" galore. You could definitely tell who the seasoned competitors were. I can only imagine what the judge's feedback will be for these girls! Anyway, the winners were definitely the picture of class and elegance on stage so that's a good sign for what the judges might be looking for next Saturday.

Yup....1 week out from the Spirit of America! Well, 6 days now actually and after watching all the amazing physiques yesterday I am so beyond motivated to begin peak week tomorrow! I don't even care that I'll be in a dreadful low-carb daze for the first 3 days because I know how it'll help me reach those last-minute shreds I'll need for Saturday.  I feel totally ready for once which certainly helps my attitude and outlook on hitting the stage again. What a long bitch of a prep season it's been! Not to toot my own horn too loudly but I swear something happened overnight last night and my ass has never looked tighter LOL! I did lose another pound this week so my guess is I'll be down another pound or so by next weekend which brings me right to where I want to be. Here's my weekly progress pic that I took yesterday morning before hitting the gym:

This morning I was up naturally at the crack of dawn again so I hit up my scheduled leg sesh prior to the 8:00 yoga class. Man that class feels so good; I'm so glad I have swapped out my cardio for that the past two weeks! Afterward I wrapped things up with a couple core exercises and then went home to shower and eat before heading back to the gym for a little posing practice. Hopefully I don't let my nerves get the best of me on Saturday because I feel like I totally owned my walk during practice today. I'll probably get in one last practice session on Thursday and then that's it before the show! I just have to make it through the next 3 days at work, avoiding human contact as much as possible, and I'll be golden! I have Thursday through the following Monday off so I have plenty of time to get refreshed pre-show and let my body recover post-show before having to go back. I have to work the following two weekends (just shoot me now) so it will be my only time to rest really for the next few weeks.

Anyway, time to go finish-up some food prep for the week and eat meal #4. I've got my laundry in the dryer, self-pedicure drying as I type and a nice little pile of show-day necessities growing on my counter top. Sufficed to say, I am ready to rock! It may be a dreary, chilly Sunday but it's still a Sunday Funday nonetheless! Congrats to all the competitor's yesterday and cheers to a smooth sailing peak week ahead! xo

Fuck The Scale

Yeah, that's right! Fuck the scale and my weekly weigh-in continuously telling me I either lose next-to-nothing or stay plateaued at my current weight while I look in the mirror and see a way more shredded physique and feel all-over tighter and nearly show-ready. Am I delusional? I mean, the scale doesn't lie! All I know is that this entire prep season has been a mad bundle of stress for me, mostly because of my inability to get back to my leanest 2013 show weight despite working my motherfucking ass off and never cheating on my diet plan.

Now, I do realize that getting back down to my 2013 leanest is not even what I really want seeing as I took 6 months off in between shows to put on some lean muscle mass but just how much mass is feasible for a natural bikini athlete to put on all by herself without any help from a dietitian or trainer? I would imagine a few pounds potentially but as it stands today, less than two weeks out from the Spirit of America, I am 7.5 pounds heavier than I was last July when I looked my absolute best (in my opinion).

To put things visually, here's a pic of me one week out from the Yankee Classic last July:

And here's a pic of me 1 week later on show-day:

The tan always makes you look more toned and the lack of clothing eliminates any body fat protrusion issues, but it's basically the same look. Now here's a pic of me yesterday:

The same damn physique! Unfortunately I don't have a pic of my back from last year but I can tell you for sure that that is one area that I know I have built-up tremendously. It's definitely my favorite body part right now! I still have a little bit of shredding to go in my core section but with a slight fat cut this week and then my usual peak week tricks the following week, I feel like I can get there...even if I am significantly "heavier" than before. I also know that my bootay has grown tremendously (in a good way) so I'm praying that you can see the difference on stage since that was always my biggest downfall. 

Anyway, my point in this blog is that the scale DOES lie! Not in the sense that the number is wrong but in the sense that a stagnant number does not necessarily indicate stagnant progress. If only I had had someone to measure my body fat percentage over the course of this season maybe I wouldn't have been so continuously stressed. But dammit, I feel good and I think that I look good too! 

Today being Sunday is my legs, core and cardio day. However, my legs are ready to put me in the hospital with the amount of continuous pain they are in between my shin splints (and I'm guessing fractured shins as well!), and tight and painful quads and hip flexors. So, instead I opted to get back into my yoga routine since my personal stretching and foam-rolling just doesn't cut it. I have to say, I feel great right now! I was up extremely early so I embarked on my regular pre-workout fueled leg sesh, followed that up with my 1-hour favourite yoga class, and finally closed it out with my remaining core exercises. I left the gym feeling refreshed, energized, and not any more pained than when I got there. Yoga may not be the calorie burn intended by the cardio but I'd say it was worth the switch-up today! Now I'm back at home, about to make a chicken spinach salad for lunch and then I'll probably head back over to the gym for a little posing practice. It's only 11:00 am and this Sunday Funday is off to an accomplished start!